Tears of a Clown Read online

  “You best not think you’re getting away without a yelling and punishment. Get in this kitchen. Now.”

  Darcy stood there, like a demented flamingo, trying to figure out how to best play out the confrontation to come.

  “I.SAID.NOW!”

  Her foot dropped to the wood floor with a loud thud. She clomped her way to the kitchen. Her dad was standing by the table, his back towards her. Darcy could see his muscles were bunched and tense. Surprised by the excessive anger he was showing, she started feeling some real fright. Stepping just inside the kitchen doorway, Darcy stood with her back against the wall, as if she was standing for execution on a firing range.

  “Only the second day Darcy. The goddamn second day of school and you’re suspended. What the hell is wrong with you?” her dad asked, not even bothering to turn and face her.

  Darcy felt her fright roughly being shoved aside by her roiling anger. Before she could stop to think about the consequences, she opened her sharp mouth.

  “I know. Think I can list it under accomplishments on my college applications? I’m pretty proud of it.” Her sarcasm was so thick it could be cut with a knife. One of those flimsy white plastic knives wouldn’t do. It would have to be one of those fancy cut through tin can knives on infomercials. For just five payments of $69.99, you too can own a sarcasm cutting knife! Never again will you have to put up with the lingering after effects of a sarcastic remark. Slice and dice your way through to add your own scathing come backs! Darcy cracked a tiny smile at the thought of such a thing.

  “You think this is funny?!” Her dad had turned around and slapped his hands down on the Formica table top. The smile slid off her face like melting wax.

  “I lost more than half a day’s pay today due to your little prank. Don’t you ever stop to think about how your actions will affect others? Why did you have to become such an instigator? This whole thing was over your stupid makeup, right?” He closed his eyes and ran a large hand over his face. “Of course it was. I should have known you would cause trouble here with that shit.”

  Damn the consequences. Darcy raged.

  “Of course it’s all my fault. You decided as soon as Jabba the Hut’s body double opened his mouth that I was completely to blame. There was never any doubt in your mind otherwise. No one stopped to ask what caused me to do it in the first place. No one stopped to think that maybe I was defending someone else.” His hand dropped like a too heavy weight, the look on his face unreadable.

  “Is that what happened? You were sticking up for someone else?” Darcy stared at him, hard. She wished she could break down and explain what had happened. He would be proud of her actions rather than disappointed, but she couldn’t get over her own disappointment in his lack of faith in her. She shook her head ruefully.

  “Of course not. Didn’t we just establish how selfish I am?”

  Her dad didn’t take her response very well. He ranted and raved for another solid twenty minutes before taking away all her privileges and her MP3 player before sending her to her room to “think about what she’d done”. She almost retorted by asking if she was five years old, but thought better of it, biting her tongue. Seething over the loss of her music and being treated like a child, she decided to act like one and stomp her way up to her room where she slammed the door and threw herself on her bed.

  What was she supposed to do for the next four days, sleep? She pondered the idea. It had merit. The thud of her shoes echoed in the next to empty room as she kicked them off. Squirming, she burrowed her way under the blanket, pulling it up over her head. Finally she let the tears come. Bitter and hot, they left wet tracks down her white cheeks. Her pillowcase would be a mess later, but she didn’t care. She shut her eyes and tried to block out all thoughts of the day so far.

  Her head was pounding. No, not her head. More like someone banging on her door. She lifted a corner of the blanket and peeked out from her cocoon. Her room was pitch black. She must have fallen asleep. For a loooong time. Looking up she saw the numbers on her egg shaped clock. 5:52p.m. Damn. Long nap.

  Whoever was doing the pounding wasn’t letting up despite her lack of response.

  “Go.Away.” Darcy snarled loudly, throwing her pillow at the door. It missed. Cursing her lack of a good throwing arm, she rolled out of bed and wrenched the door open ready to castrate the deaf person who didn’t heed her earlier warning.

  Darcy found herself staring at a blank wall. There was no one knocking on the door. Did she dream it? No. She was definitely awake when she heard it the second time. About to scratch her head in confusion, she felt something whip her leg. Startled she jumped back and looked down. Happily eating a piece of pizza, Mandy’s German Sheppard, Oberon, hit her again with his whip-like tail. That explained the knocking sound. The dog’s tail was like that damn pink battery bunny, never running out of energy.

  “Shoo you stupid Faerie King.”

  At the sound of her voice, Oberon looked up and wagged his tail even harder.

  “OW dammit! Stop!”

  He nudged her with his cold wet nose. Darcy was in no mood to pet the damn dog. She started to close the door when he jumped up on her. It was so unexpected that the weight of the huge animal knocked her on to a familiar place, her ass. The dog thought that was the greatest thing ever and stood over her, attempting to lick her face.

  “GAH! Stop you beast! Where is Puck when you need him to turn someone into an ass?!” As she tried to push the powerful dog away, her hands found a small satin bag.

  “What’s this, your little green bag?” Oberon got in a good long slurp to her face. “OH GOD! Stop already! I do not have ice cream or frosting on my face, dog.” While trying to avoid another tongue bath, she untied the bag from the dog’s collar.

  Once free, she scooted back on her butt to escape the wrath of the killer doggy breath and slobber. She climbed to her feet and opened the little bag, over turning it to dump the contents on to her bed. Dropping the little bag, she picked up the largest component, a small pink MP3 player with matching pink skull earbuds. There was also an intricately folded piece of paper. Gently placing the player on her night stand, she tried to open the paper. It was not an easy task.

  “Why do people have to turn their notes into origami?” she asked the dog. Oberon cocked his head and gave her the inquisitive dog look. She rolled her eyes. Finally she got it open. Smoothing it out, she recognized Mandy’s big loopy handwriting and trademark pink ink.

  Thought you might want to borrow this for a few days. Sorry you got in trouble, but thanks — Mandy ♥

  Darcy picked up the player, idly rubbing her finger over the small touch screen as she reread the note. Perhaps her step-sister had a good side after all. She slipped the earbuds in and started up the player.

  The music came on at a deafening level, even for her, and it was not good. Frantically she pushed the button to advance to the next song: Boy band, bubble gum pop, that kid who’s name sounds like a woodland creature with big teeth that likes wood. It wasn’t a gesture of thanks, it was a torture device!

  Darcy yanked on the wires of the earbuds to escape the pain of high prepubescent voices and horrible lyrics about whipping hair back and forth. She was greeted with a new and equally horrible sound.

  “NO Oberon! NO you stupid dog! OUT! OUT!”

  Her yelling was in vain. Oberon had already made like a bulimic teen in an after school special and puked up the pizza he had eaten all over her floor. She slapped a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t follow suit. She took back the nice thoughts she had about Mandy. That bitch was definitely out to get her.

  The transition from Thursday to Friday was a blur for Darcy. Somehow she managed to sleep until everyone had left the house in the morning. When she finally slunk down to the kitchen, there was a terse note left by her father reminding her she wasn’t to leave the house and since she was home, there was a list of chores for her to conquer. Annoyed, she balled up the paper and tossed it at the garbage can. MISS! Of course,
just another thing for her to have to clean up.

  Putting on a pot of coffee, she rummaged through the cabinets for something to eat. Cereal and…cereal. It was an easy decision. She poured herself a bowl before throwing open the fridge for the milk. She groaned loudly as she shoved things around. No milk. Of course. Why would they leave her any milk? Sighing, she pulled out a carton of orange juice. Twisting off the cap she poured it over her cereal. Darcy figured it was better than nothing and everything was going to the same place. With caution she tried a spoonful. Not bad! Maybe she’d have to market it and make millions.

  She poured her coffee -bleck black- grabbed her bowl and headed to the TV room. Depositing her stuff on the coffee table she hunted for the remote. Her step-mom was anal about keeping things in their place. Her dad had a habit of leaving things anywhere they didn’t belong. She checked the fake book on the table top. The cover lifted to reveal several remotes: radio, DVD player, VCR, but no TV remote. She noticed a piece of paper sticking out from under the remote orgy.

  Television is off limits. Go do your chores. — Dad

  F’in A! She would have to do it the old fashion way. Pushing herself off the couch she stepped up to the TV and powered it on.

  HA! I’m not oblivious to the ways of old!

  She bent to change the channel on the cable box and was dumbfounded. The box was gone, leaving only the evil snake looking connection wire. Damn her father! Kicking the TV cabinet hard enough to bring tears to her eyes, she grabbed her breakfast and stormed back to the kitchen. Forget breakfast. She tossed her stuff into the sink, too annoyed to eat.

  Back in her room, Darcy grabbed some clothes and took a quick shower. She was annoyed she had fallen asleep in her makeup the night before. That was never good for one’s skin. When she got out of the shower, she wiped the steam off the mirror and inspected her face. No bumps or blemishes, yet anyhow. Figuring she was stuck in the house all day, Darcy decided to forgo the makeup. It was weird for her to see herself like that, but better for her skin. It needed a break from time to time. To breathe. Rummaging in her bag, she found a couple of clips to keep her hair out of her face. No point in spending time fixing that either.

  Back in her room, she stripped her makeup covered pillowcases and sheets to toss in the laundry. A flash of bright pink caught her eye; stupid MP3 player. Winding up the earbud wires she trekked to Mandy’s bedroom to dump the offending piece of electronics back on her desk. Since she was alone, Darcy stopped to take a look around. It was like the Disney princesses threw up in there. Pink paint covered the walls, reminding Darcy of that bubble gum flavored medicine she often had to take as a kid. Cheer trophies and pageant tiaras lined her shelves. There was a corkboard covered in pictures: Liberty, Dick, a bunch of other cheerleaders. Surprised, she found a picture of Chaz half covered. Curiosity got the best of her as she pulled out the pushpin and removed the image. On the other side of the picture was Mandy and Liberty. Chaz had on that oh so familiar blindingly white smile and an arm around Mandy’s shoulder. They looked…close. Liberty stood to the other side of Mandy looking murderous. Had Mandy and Chaz dated? Was the picture taken when Liberty and Chaz dated and she was just jealous he had put an arm around Darcy’s step-sister? Leaning forward to replace the picture, Darcy drew back. Would Mandy miss it? Probably not. She put the picture in her pocket and adjusted the remaining pictures to cover the hole that was left. She felt silly taking it, but it was comforting to see that smile.

  Darcy was surprised to find she missed him, even though he was stubborn and relentless about being friends. A frown marred her face as she thought about his possible encounter with the dick. She hoped he hadn’t gotten himself hurt on her account. Maybe she could pump Mandy for info later. Then she remembered she wasn’t talking to the girl who tried to melt her brain with bubble gum pop AND she owed her for the dog puke.

  None too gently, Darcy closed the door to Mandy’s room. What was she going to do? Sleep definitely wouldn’t be happening yet. She missed her music. Sitting cross legged on her bed, she grabbed a black marker and her notebook from the night stand. Absentmindedly she started doodling and jotting down ICP lyrics. Looking up she stared blankly at her white unadorned walls. The light bulb in her head flipped on, blinding all other thoughts. Scrambling to her feet, her notebook dropped to the floor, forgotten in her singularity. A couple of long strides brought her to the wall beside her closed door.

  Marker in hand, she started copying the lyrics she knew and loved onto the blank canvas. As she finished one song, she would decorate around the block of text with abstract and tribal-esque shapes, coloring each one in. Once complete, she’d move onto another song. Soon she would be surrounded by the thing she loved most. Her dad might take the sound away, but no one could erase her mind of the lyrics that lulled her into comfort and security.

  She went through three black markers before standing back to admire her handiwork. It was a stunning collection of inkblot type images and words. The stark white and dark as night black reflected her mood and her sense of style. It was gorgeous and it covered an entire wall. Her dad might flip when he sees it, but he had told her she could decorate anyway she wanted. She’d appeal to his cheap side by saying markers were less expensive than paint.

  Satisfied with her results, she capped the marker and walked over to her bed. Darcy was surprised to find she was feeling lightheaded and dizzy. Was it the marker fumes or the lack of food? Maybe it was both. Perhaps some fresh air would help.

  Taking her time, Darcy made her way downstairs where she rummaged in the kitchen again, finally coming up with a protein bar. She gagged at the thought, but figured she had to have something, lest she pass out. Being face down on the floor again was an unappealing thought, so she’d stomach the gross fake chocolate covered brick.

  Tearing open the wrapper like a ravenous animal, Darcy shoved the bar in her mouth and opened the front door, promptly running into what felt like a brick wall.

  “Ooof.”

  She looked up, the protein bar smashed into her face leaving a thick streak of chocolate on her chin before breaking off and falling at her feet. Heat rushed to her cheeks. With no makeup to cover her embarrassment, Darcy abruptly turned to flee into the house. Strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her in for a hug, her back flush against a lean hard body.

  “Where do you think you’re running off to?” A voice tickled her ear.

  Darcy struggled to break free of the binding grip.

  “You know, you keep doing that and I’m not going to be held responsible for anything that may…pop up,” the voice said in amusement. Darcy stopped as if she had been frozen.

  “Let go please,” she said, not louder than a whisper. There was a chuckle.

  “But I’ve missed you my little clown queen.”

  She wasn’t a fan of being held captive. Without warning she kicked back, making contact with her assailant’s knee.

  “Ohh, I heard you fight dirty, but did I deserve that? There would have been a lot of unhappy girls around had you aimed higher. No one likes the Big J to be out of commission!”

  “Oh geez. The Big J? Give me a break.” The arms released her and she heard the distinctive sound of rasping metal teeth.. Swinging around she grabbed at his forearms.

  “What are you doing?!” She got a puzzled look in return.

  “I was going to show you how big Big J is. Didn’t want you to think I was exaggerating.”

  “Oh please Judd. Keep your damn pants on. I don’t need to see anything,” Darcy said releasing him and taking several steps backwards. Using the back of her hand she wiped the chocolate off of her chin.

  “Fantastic. It looks like I had a dirty diaper thrown at me,” she mumbled.

  “I could lick it off for you,” Judd offered. Darcy threw him a dirty look over her shoulder as she walked to the kitchen to wash her face. Despite no invitation, Judd followed.

  She scrubbed her face with dish cleaner and grabbed a couple papers towels to dry
off.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked as she tossed the towels towards the garbage can. MISS! AGAIN! Her aim sucked. Judd picked them up and completed the basket throwing his hands up and roaring like a crowd. Darcy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

  “What? I couldn’t come by to say hi because I missed you?” She raised an eyebrow at his words.

  “I don’t have your shirt here if that’s what you’re wanting.” Judd leaned against the counter and mimicked her position, crossed his muscular arms over his broad chest. Her mouth emulated the Sahara Desert as the already tight fabric of his shirt stretched taunt over his frame.

  “I heard you got a little vacation time. Figured you’d be bored here alone and thought you might like some company. Is that so wrong? I thought we got along well in the laundry room,” he said with a wink. Darcy felt the blush starting to rise. She damned her lack of makeup.

  “You really can’t be here. If someone sees that you’re here I’ll be in even more trouble.”

  “Chill, Happy. It’s not exactly my first time visiting a girl’s house. I know how to be discrete. The bike is parked around the corner and I cut through the woods. No one knows I’m here. We’re.All.Alone.”

  He pushed away from the counter and moved to stand directly in front of her. His hand pushed aside a lock of bright red hair that had escaped from her clip before it stopped to cup her cheek.

  “Let’s go get you made up,” he said, his breath fanning her face. Judd being so close, touching her, made her head spin. She hadn’t really heard what he had said.

  Leaning forward, his lips barely touching hers, he spoke again.

  “Take me to your room.” The light caresses from his moving lips felt like silk against her skin. She fumbled to grab the edge of the counter top for support, but he took her hands in his pulling her close to him. He gave her another fleeting kiss and started to lead her out of the room.